OK....So Now What ???

This was not something I was expecting to be asking myself after chemo.  Today is a rough day but when I say that now it's not even on the same level as when I was doing chemo.  My liver feels like it's swollen and my right lung again has been acting.  The world is not so perfect after chemo.  Not that I expected it to be.  Its just very weird now.  I feel really good on a mental level but physically still run a little exhausted about half the time and have that general ill at ease or uncomfortable feeling with my body.  I was looking at news updates on Facebook and ran into an site for women surviving cancer.  I'm thinking to myself, do men have support groups for after?? 
Most of the people I talk to now say don't rush back to work and take as much time as you can.  I've been in a flat/bachelor appartment 24/7 for the last 10 months.  I don't see me sitting around another five or six months or what ever it takes.  I need to get out.  I need to be around people and see different things.  This part of the winter makes it hard especially when one is still weak.  Plus with the right lung problem or back problem not sure what it is I don't want to slip and fall while out running around.  Anyway, I got to thinking after looking at the womens support group and I found myself asking "So now what?"  It's really a loaded question for me.  Seems like I've been asking myself that question for a long time but having gone through the last ten months in a real shitty frame of health the perspective is different and the question feels loaded.  Maybe I should seek some kind of after cancer therapy???  Maybe if the sun came out I wouldn't be asking myself that question at all.  I'd be running around the village doing this and that with the day instead of wondering what I'm supposed to be doing after surviving cancer.  I'm going to be pondering this question a lot over the next little while I think.  At least until I get back to work  (trust me the itch is there). 
I will be glad when I see my doctor on Tuesday.  This thing with my lung has been bugging me for over a week now. 
Anyway, I will try and stick with keeping my spirits up and seriously consider councelling.  I think it might be good for me to talk.

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